Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Captain's Log, Day 136: Update on the Midway family

          So, each year we kids of the Midway family write up a newsletter and send it out with our Christmas cards...and each year, I want to put it up on Maximum Effect here, and each year Mom threatens my life if I put it up before she gets a change to send it out, and each year I forget about the stupid thing until sometime in February, when it's a bit late to do anything about it. THIS year, however, I have remembered! It helps that Mom got them out a bit early this year...
          So anyway, here's the newsletter. As tradition requires, I have updated all names because, frankly, I think our nicknames are cooler. Mom doesn't share my opinion, sadly. Enjoy!

Merry Christmas from the Midway Family                                                                          2014

Nemesis writing (poetically) about Radar
Radar Midway is smart, he’s strong and strong-willed, / Good thing he is too, or he’d get himself killed. / His face on the homestead we now rarely see, / He’s at college for a master’s degree. / Engineering is his mastering field, / And from what I have heard, his grades never yield. / He cooks on his own (yes, with ovens and knives / Which is proof in itself he possesses nine lives). / The apartment he occupies hasn’t been wrecked, / I was down there last summer, so trust me, I checked, / But the fact that it’s standing unscathed makes no sense, / Since he is to blame for our home’s many dents. / Well, he’s in college surrounded by friends, / So right about here’s where my testament ends.

Squirrel writing about Quill:
All hail Quill, reader of books, maker of muffins, and master of Scrabble! A junior at college and a frequenter of the Dean’s List, Quill’s time this year has been fully occupied. One of her favorite parts of the summer was the opportunity she had to visit England with her Literature on Location class. She greatly enjoyed seeing all of the literary sites, although she did say that English weather makes our climate look tropical. Her 21st birthday fast approaching; Quill is excited about the prospect of having a celebratory beverage with older brother Radar, but even MORE excited about writing the next great American novel. We couldn't agree more; I’m hoping to have my copy signed.

Quill writing about Nemesis;
We are very proud of Nemesis for graduating high school with honors in May. He was elected valedictorian by unanimous choice, and was also voted Person Most Likely to Have Stunning Good Looks in the school yearbook. The fact that he formed the voting constituent for his entire class may have had something to do with his reception of these two awards. After a productive summer working for a plant nursery, he entered college, where he has maintained his record of stellar grades. An active contributor to campus life, Nemesis co-captained his intramural Ultimate Frisbee team, rode his dorm’s float for the homecoming parade, and is an active member of the college’s pro-life and English clubs. His older sister thoroughly enjoys having him with her at college, although she has noticed that he only visits her apartment when she’s cooking dinner.

Radar writing about Squirrel;
                This squirrel had a productive year; upon turning 16, she got her driver’s license, which caused her three older siblings to promptly vacate the state. She then entered the PSEO program at college, where she enjoys her painting classes and…um…actually, we haven’t heard about much else. At home, she continues to regale her family with pies (the ones who are there, anyway; she incites jealousy in those of us who miss a pie or twenty being off at college!) and torture us by listening to Taylor Swift songs. Repeatedly. 

We are so blessed in our loving and generous parents, who continuously offer support and sage advice on any subject, from moral dilemmas to the fact that laundry won’t become cleansed unless placed in a washing machine. Although her work with our parish’s Perpetual Adoration chapel keeps her busy, Mom still suffers from near-empty nest syndrome. She threatens to cope with it by getting more dogs, one for each absent child. Dad, however, occasionally forgets that he has kids. His college-bound offspring kindly jog his memory by calling to ask for money.

 We all wish you a blessed Christmas and great 2015!