Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Captain's Log, Day 148: More Updates from the Midway Family

          As promised, here is the Midway Family's Annual Newsletter!

          Merry Christmas from the Midway Family                                                                          2015

 Quill writing about Radar:
          This year Radar and Higher Education parted ways on the most amicable of terms. South Dakota State University conferred upon him a Master’s degree in Engineering; in return, he left a legacy consisting of an erudite thesis and the lingering smell of charred laboratory ceiling tiles. He can now be found gainfully employed by a South Dakota company, where he does mathy things all day. He has attempted to explain the mathy stuff to his female relations, who have stopped pretending to be interested. Radar spends his days waterskiing with friends, swing-dancing, reading, and periodically attempting to learn the fine of bachelor cooking. His specialty is takeout pizza.

Radar writing about Quill:
When not engaged in the academic pursuits of an upperclassman, you can find Quill at the North Mankato Public Library assisting patrons in their book selections and trying to steer the innocent away from Fifty Shades of Gray.  In addition to school, work and social life, she manages to indulge in her twin loves of reading and cooking, and the occasional intense game of Scrabble with her mother (did you know that serious Scrabble enthusiasts trash-talk?).  She attends the same college as her sister Squirrel where they amaze and astound their classmates with their fashion sense and witty banter.

Squirrel writing about Nemesis:
This hat-sporting member of society has kept himself ever busy this past year. As a sassy sophomore, Nemesis manages to balance his classes with many extracurricular activities and jobs, including but not limited to secretary for the English Club (if you happen to have a spare gavel, please do send it his way); sacristan in charge of overseeing the proper training of all the other little baby sacristans, and of course, member of staff for Benedict’s Brittle (the monks at BC make peanut brittle and enlist the hungry college students to assist them). Unfortunately, he is not allowed to bring back free samples and it is hard to talk about this without crying a little.

Nemesis writing about Squirrel:
                It’s a bit tricky writing for my little sister, since I’m normally 700 miles away; however, according to my covert sources, Squirrel is almost done with her PSEO classes at Bethany Lutheran College and is going to graduate from high school this year. She plans to attend college afterwards and we hear she’s being bribed heavily from most of them, especially on account of her art. She sold one of her paintings last spring for actual money, and also recently won an Inkwell magazine contest (BLC’s student-run arts publication). When Squirrel’s not employed making potential masterpieces, she also visits the local elementary school to teach first graders the alphabet, numbers, and (most likely) how to give her marshmallows.

Everyone writing about the parental unit:
          Our parents still won’t let us do drugs, juggle knives, or launder money, concealing their fiendish scheme to make us responsible adults by claiming that this heartlessly enforced respectability will provide greater health and happiness in the long run. Their predictions are correct thus far, but you didn’t hear that from us. In other news, they have acquired a little friend for our Shih-poo, Bo. Said friend is an energetic Shi-Tzu puppy named Skipper, whose adorable shaggy body conceals a burning need to chew up the linoleum. Mom trains him patiently, while Dad suggests the same parenting technique that he favored for us: locking him in a closet until he turns 21.

           We all wish you a blessed Christmas and great 2016!  

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