Sunday, December 18, 2011

Captain's Log, Day 61: Brothers by Birth, Friends by Choice

          My brother and I were recently accused of being "weird." I want to set the record straight here--we're not "weird," we're "VERY weird!"
          Nemesis and I are definitely brothers, although we both hope no one can guess we're related. If we were movie characters, we'd be Megamind and Minion, or Ironman and JARVIS--or Tom and Jerry, depending on if we're in a cooperative mood or not. When not, the house is in danger of imminent destruction. When we are...well, it still is, but it will be more EPIC!!
          Nemesis's got this odd, twisted sense of humor (I don't know where that came from--oh, wait, yes I do. DAD) and also got the gift of poetry from somewhere (no clue there), so many of his jokes are expressed in poetic form, causing my arm to spasm in his direction. (It's mostly accidental and uncontrollable, I swear!) I'm addicted to puns, usually causing him to whack me one too. Between our *awful* jokes, we have a decent boxing match.
          We've been partners in crime and destruction since he's been able to walk; no chocolate is safe from us, no tree secure from our missiles (true story). We're both creative and sort of "engineering-minded," so we've been able to come up with some fairly cool stuff, including (but not limited to):
--Lego pistols
--Rubber band guns that can kill grasshoppers long-range
--An extensive intercom/two-way-radio system enabling us to contact each other and spy on anyone in the house
--A pirate treasure, complete with map and code, that we recently stumbled upon and can't remember where the treasure is or what the code was (we did a good job)
--Several forts, outdoors and indoors
--A snow fort covering a 25x30 foot area (and thus was impossible to hold against attackers owing to the hugeness of the interior--we always ended up in the keep. We needed about 20 more defenders)
--A snow rifle that refused to function and was abandoned
--A fleet of paper boats that we set on fire or attached fireworks to (or both) that we launched in a tub of water outside
--A treehouse, complete with all the interior switches and dials to enable it to become an airplane, a spaceship, a submarine, a battleship, an AT-AT, etc...
--A rocket launcher that we mounted on our treehouse and terrified cats with
--About 20 modified Nerf guns (and counting!)
--Around 7 animated Lego music videos to various Michael Jackson, Skillet, and Weird Al Yankovic songs
--A lot more really lame movies that shall never be seen by anyone other than ourselves (hilarious but stupid)
--Several holes in the walls of our house (but don't worry--we know how to spackle)
--A radio transmitter that caught fire one day when we were trying to boost the power and short-circuited it
--A secret handshake that ends in a wrestling match
--Several clubs, some of which the girls were allowed to join
--Several secret hiding spots, including one hidden behind a secret panel in the barn that we can't fit through anymore
--And of course, many epic battles with each other, both on the computer and in person.
          Brothers by birth, friends by choice, and mortal enemies every full moon or so. I'd better check on my supply of land mines...

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