Sunday, August 12, 2012

Captain's Log, Day 96: But I wish I was invulnerable!

          I've never had a problem with believing that I'm invulnerable. My active and klutzy lifestyle would have quickly debunked such notions in short order.
, I have a problem with believing that I will magically heal within thirty seconds. Like Wolverine. Except, sadly, I have no claws.

Subtract the claws and the coolness factor, and this is me on a daily basis.

          Fortunately for me, I do heal pretty quickly, which I tend to take unfair advantage of. My train of thought tends to go like this: Let's see, I have a game this weekend...and today is anything short of a broken bone should be fine. "YO NEMESIS!!! Wanna try out my new invention? I call it the Human Catapult! Just pull the trigger when I say FIRE!!!"
          Just kidding. I've never made a human catapult. On purpose. A vine and some really springy trees once made an accidental one. I cleared 20 feet. It was AWESOME!!!
          Oh, and by the way, a new law was formulated by my brother Nemesis and myself. It's called Midway's Law. "Anyone can FLY...but it takes a real genius to LAND." Originally, our law read "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong," but it turned out some guy named Murphy copywrited that one already. Lame. We've avoided such issues with our new law by doing absolutely no research whatsoever so as not to have our hopes dashed.

Yepp, that's me. Be warned, dangit!!!
          Today's epic decision was floating paper boats on the pond and attempting to blow them up with various reasoning being, any burns I could acquire should be reasonably healed by tomorrow so I can go to work. That was ALMOST put to the test, as one of the fireworks was a wee bit bigger than expected. Oopsies. 

...also me on a daily basis...
          Oh well, I'm sure there's a lesson here somewhere. I'll figure it out eventually...when I'm not designing my new SUPERLASER!!!! Nothing could POSSIBLY go wrong there...

Okay, that's a half-finished Nerf gun...close enough...
          ...right?? RIGHT??? RII--

          By the way, check out Nick Spark's blog From the Mouth of a Sheep. His post was kind of the inspiration for this article (and is a whole lot better than mine!).

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