Thursday, June 23, 2016

Captain's Log, Day 170: Family Vacation, Part 3--WE TAKE THE BEACH AT DAWN.

6:00am: Radar wakes up with Nemesis's foot in his ribs.
6:01: Nemesis is kicked off the bed and wakes up in that little hammock thing you get when you tuck the sheets in under the mattress.
6:11: Nemesis regains the bed.
6:27: The girls walk in on a (quiet) pillowfight. Inquiries are made regarding parental status.
6:31: One game of "Spies" later, it is determined that Mom and Dad are still asleep. Everyone sneaks back to the boys' room and tries to figure out what we'll do for the next hour. Or maybe two. We tired the parental unit out pretty thoroughly last night.
7:13: Dad wanders in and suggests that we get ready to bring Mom breakfast in bed. After he locates an outfit that's not his PJs, of course.
7:23: Dad locates some suitable clothes and meets everyone at the front door. A discussion is had regarding "proper attire"--the boys have not yet changed out of their pajamas.
7:24: The boys spent 55 seconds arguing and five seconds changing. Everyone is now deemed "presentable."
7:27: An appropriate store is located. Doughnuts and other appropriate breakfast foods are purchased. The boys are allowed to carry the juice, since the girls are considered more trustworthy when it comes to matters of edibles.
7:28: The boys protest. Dad threatens to break fingers.
7:29: Radar almost successfully makes off with a package of doughnut holes but is forcibly stopped with the patented "Dad Neck Grip of Death."
7:30: The general consensus is that Radar sounds like a mouse. Radar points out that it's hard to sound normal when your dad has the back of your neck.
7:31: Dad suggests that we go in the hotel room quietly in case Mom is still sleeping. However, Radar and Nemesis are having a small wrestling match and are already in the process of bouncing off the door when this edict is issued.
7:32: Mom is awake! (Admittedly, it's hard to sleep with four hyperactive and hungry children pouncing on you.)
7:33: Mom announces that she'll be right out to eat "as soon as she puts her contacts in."
8:03: Mom finally enters the living room area to find that, despite Dad's best efforts, Radar and Nemesis have made off with a few doughnut holes and a few melon cubes. Her advent prompts cheering.
8:04: Morning prayers are said with pardonable swiftness and breakfast is officially started.
8:45: Breakfast is over. Plans for the day as discussed. Beach is mentioned.
8:47: Cheering is finally quenched by Dad's offer to let the noisy kids stay behind while he and Mom visit the beach. Silence prevails, although the chairdancing cannot be suppressed.
8:50: Table is cleared and room tidied. Everyone adjourns to change into swim gear.
9:02: Surprisingly, everyone is ready to go. Even the girls. Nemesis starts to make a comment, but Mom warns him that the offer to stay behind is still valid.
9:04: Everyone piles into the car.
9:16: We're pretty sure Dad is lost.
9:21: Yeah, Dad's definitely lost.
9:35: Debate about mountain formation.
9:44: Arrival at the beach. Mom reminds everyone (too late) to remain in the car until the car has come to a complete stop.
9:45: Mom attempts to tell Radar and Nemesis to put on sunscreen. Radar is already in the ocean by this point and ignores her.
9:46: Radar manages to time the waves perfectly and get in position to see the "tunnel" right before the wave collapses on him...on the first try.
9:51: Radar shows Nemesis where to stand to see the tunnel. Dad and Squirrel wade out and get smoked by a wave while laughing at Radar and Nemesis.
9:52: Dad asks where the heck Squirrel went. Radar points to the shoreline; apparently, she rode the wave back to the beach.
10:00: Mom wades out and is passed by Nemesis, Quill and Radar going the other way via wave.
10:21: Dad locates a bodyboard and suggests trying it out, since we keep capsizing every time we try to ride the waves in. Radar requests a surfboard and is turned down.
10:37: Radar finally gets a turn with the bodyboard.
10:40: Radar decides that it's "too boring" to use a board, even if it keeps him upright. Gives board back to Nemesis and decides to see how long he can stay underwater.
10:58: Quill looks around of her older brother to see if he wants to play Shark Tag.
11:03: It takes Quill five minutes and Nemesis to find Radar; apparently, he's only coming up for air and has spent 21 of the last 23 minutes underwater. He calls it "playing dolphin."
11:25: Nemesis and Squirrel are working on wonderful burns. They adjourn for more sunscreen.
11:45: Mom tries to get some sunscreen on Radar when he comes back for a snack; Radar points out that he doesn't burn and sunscreen is gross.
12:00pm: Sandcastle-building contest between the siblings.
12:10: Sandcastle-destroying contest between siblings.
12:25: Radar suggests a new game: building castles on the shoreline as quickly as possible between big waves. Points awarded for speed of construction, intricacy of design, and awesomeness of destruction by wave.
12:40: Radar and Quill get hit by a massive wave and decided to follow the water back out into the ocean.
1:00: Dad joins us for Shark Tag.
3:00: Mom suggests that five hours in the water is probably plenty and requests that Dad round up all children.
4:00: Nemesis, Quill, and Squirrel have obeyed the summons, possibly just because they're getting pretty hungry. Dad is still looking for Radar.
4:10: Radar is located, but disappears back underwater before Dad can catch him.
4:30: Radar is finally evicted from the ocean (Dad managed to grab his ankle and tow him out). Much protesting.
4:40: Everyone has rinsed off the salt and dried off. Sunburns are compared.
4:41: Squirrel and Dad tied for best sunburn; they both look like lobsters. Nemesis is a close second. Quill has a little red, while Radar might have a little red on his shoulders if you crossed your eyes and used your imagination. Mom and Radar tied for best tan.
4:45: Dinner is discussed.
5:10: A restaurant is located. The Midway children proceed to eat record amounts of food. Double normal intake for the girls, triple for Nemesis, and at least quadruple for Radar, but Dad cut him off after his second triple burger. The kids discuss stealing the battleship Missouri and turning it into a pirate ship. Again.
6:15: Ice cream is located. A stroll is had.
6:21: Radar kills the only bug he sees on the entire Hawaii trip by yanking off his sandal, chasing after it, and hitting it repeatedly while yelling "DIE BUG DIE!".
6:22: Dad reminds Radar via Dad Neck Grip of Death that the Midway family is not the only people on the island and should behave with propriety. Radar concedes the point by squeaking.
7:30: Family returns to hotel.
8:00: Everyone is pooped and voluntarily decides to turn in.

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