Sunday, October 7, 2012

Captain's Log, Day 99: A Saturday Morning Log

          Interesting...I just noticed that this is my 99th post. Hmm, going to have to come up with something especially clever or witty for my 100th...THE PRESSURE IS TOO MUCH!!!
          Today, though, I have to be neither witty nor clever. Hence, the following excerpt from the log of a typical Midway Family Saturday morning (from back when I was 8).

6:00am     Woke up to my brother Nemesis clattering down the bunk bed ladder. Debate about what to do.
6:02          Static electricity war commences. Yay for wool pajamas!
6:10          Ordered back to bed by Mom. Fleeing for our lives ensues.
6:15          After careful listening at the door, it is determined that Mom returned upstairs to go back to bed.
6:16          Nemesis and I have a quiet stuffed animal war.
6:21          Truce is declared. I climb up into Nemesis's bunk to hide under the covers with him and pretend that we're under attack by aliens.
6:52          Nemesis and I vacate the bunk at the faint sound of a flush from upstairs. Static electricity war recommences.
7:00          We head upstairs to determine the affairs of breakfast.
7:01          Quill looks like her hair got caught in a blender. Squirrel is apparently still down for the count. Mom is also still in bed; Dad is prepping the griddle for omelettes.
7:02          All kids (save Squirrel) are put to work. I grate cheese, Quill unloads the dishwasher, and Nemesis sets the table. Dad looks at the calendar and decides that the truck needs an oil change today.
7:03          Much loud rejoicing is effectively quenched by Dad's threat that noisy children will be left at home. Quieter rejoicing continues.
7:11          Squirrel is rousted out of bed and the family sits down for breakfast.
7:30          Post-breakfast clean-up. I try to sneak out but am caught and ordered to load the dishwasher.
7:42          Family adjourns to get dressed.
8:01          Nemesis and I have been ready since 7:43 and have spent the last 19 minutes arguing about who gets to sit shotgun. Wrestling match is broken up by Dad. No sign of girls.
8:30          Nemesis and I are pulled away from our Erector sets when the girls finally appear. Mom opts to stay home. All four of us kids try to get into the shotgun seat at the same time. Mass confusion.
8:35          Squirrel gets front middle, I get shotgun, and Nemesis and Quill sit in the back, where they amuse themselves by poking me.
8:40          Dad cracks bad jokes. "You know who was in denial? Moses. Moses was in de Nile!!"
8:43          Dad unrolls the windows, then rolls them back up as soon as we stick our hands out. Game promptly ensues to see if Dad can act quick enough to shut the windows on our hands before we can pull them back in. Kids always win. Much gloating.
8:45          I forgot about the game and rested my chin on the window. Dad popped the window up far enough to smack me in the jaw. Much laughter all around.
8:46          Made it to the Public Utilities garage! Dad and I immediately begin to move the hydraulic lift arms under the truck so he can lift it up. I extend the arms, and he positions them. Nemesis helps; Quill and Squirrel unload the oil and the filters.
8:51          Dad lets us all have a turn pushing the button to raise the truck off the ground. Much rejoicing all around.
8:54          Kids scatter into the depths of the huge garage to explore the giant trucks.
8:59          I discover a backhoe. Nemesis and I pretend that it is a turret on a spaceship and open fire on the girls when they appear.
9:00          Hide and seek!!
9:10          I try to figure out how to climb back out of the huge truck bed that I somehow fell into.
9:15          All the kids play spies. Dad is still working on the truck.
9:17          Dad calls us back to the lowering of the truck. Much cheering.
9:19          We form a line to hand Dad oil bottles. Nemesis grabs, I open, Dad pours, Quill discards, and Squirrel picks up the caps.
9:23          Dad decides to wash the truck. I get the high-pressure wash nozzle.
9:24          Dad captures the nozzle, ending the water war. All kids are sternly ordered out.
9:34          Kids are allowed back in. Dad announces that he has "a few things to check" in his office and invites us to come in with him.
9:41          Kids are installed on a computer and allowed to play Pinball on it. Turns are taken at the paddle keys.
10:40        Computer is vacated in favor of hide and seek.
10:51        Dad is queried about the availability of the whiteboard in the conference room. Permission is given to draw on it "if there's nothing written on it already."
10:55        Quill and Squirrel draw. Nemesis and I spin around on the big conference chairs before noticing they have wheels and begin racing.
11:06        Dad begins calling us so we can leave.
11:17        Dad finds us.
11:19        Dad decides all the calling has made him thirsty. Stops at a pop machine for a Dr Pepper. Root beer is procured for the kids after much wheedling.
11:24        Everyone tries to get in the shotgun seat again.
11:26        Positions switched. Squirrel and I are in the back, Nemesis and Quill get front.
11:44        Everyone piles out of the truck when we get home. Mom bemoans the state of our clothes but thanks Dad for giving her the morning off. Dad gives us the evil eye but assures Mom we were as good as gold. Lunch is eaten with pardonable swiftness before all the kids adjourn to the backyard for the afternoon.

1 comment:

  1. My, my... that sounded like quite a morning. I loved when you said you discovered there were wheels on the chairs and commenced to race! I just do not think it is a good idea to ever have someone behind you. Maybe you should somehow attach a camera to the back of your head...