Saturday, June 25, 2011

Captain's Log, Day Five: A Fish, the Force and Some Politics

          “There’s always a bigger fish…”
          Qui-Gon ROCKS. I’ve always been a big fan of Star Wars—I have four lightsabers at home, fyi—so it came as a shock to me to realize that I haven’t actually watched any of them for almost half a year. Then I realized that I have an excuse—homework load at college last semester was in-SANE, so I didn’t have much time to watch anything period. I feel a bit better now.
          I think it would be really cool to be a Jedi. One time when I was younger, I spent some time trying to learn to block shots with a sword. It was probably a good thing I started with Nerf darts and not, say, actual weaponry, because I sucked at it. Let’s face it—I’m better at ducking. Live with my siblings long enough and you just acquire these skills. Also, when practicing my orating, stuff tends to get thrown at me, as this excerpt from our club meeting will show:

          3:13     Debate about what else to debate. Secretary claims that President likes “Ella Enchanted.” Small argument. Bandages administered. Lookout continues to daydream.
          3:14     Lookout couldn't guard her way out of a paper bag.
          3:15     Treasurer’s report (the Treasurer forgot until now)
          3:16     Debate about club anthem. President offers to give speech and is answered by enthusiastic “boo”s. He gives one anyway and gets stuff thrown at him.

          Well, ok, this also shows that our club has ADD problems, but still…with such a rude reception, how can one pass up the chance to give a speech? And who would have thought pencils, Legos and books would hurt so much? (Don’t you dare laugh. You try dodging a million flying objects and see how much YOU get clobbered.)
          That’s an occasion that the Force would have come in really handy. My brother Nemesis and I also spent an entire week trying to “Force-influence” our parents into giving us extra dessert. We eventually reverted to the more reliable method of “distract-and-swipe” when it was conclusively proved that we unfortunately are not Jedi. I did return to this futile mental hope during some of my more boring classes at college (You will adjourn class now…you will adjourn class now…at least don’t spring a pop quiz…CRAP). That’s where I found out that there ARE mind-readers in the world. We call them “professors” and they are always able to tell when one hasn’t studied and adjust the quizzes accordingly. I know which side of the Force they belong to.
          Anyway, guess what I’m watching tonight!

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