Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Captain's Log, Day 83: ...he could almost pass the Turing test! (NOT)

          I love projects! Nothing quite like starting out the day with a fresh start at trying to build a sentient computer who will eventually take over the world and send robots back in time to kill people...
          I'm just kidding, but my new program is an attempt at a form of artificial intelligence; something that can respond to my commands and eventually run a house. In honor of the Terminator series, I'm naming it Skynet. I should probably turn that into a cool acronym or something, but I'm not that clever.
          Skynet was preceded by JARVIS and JARVISBETA--contrary to naming convention, JARVIS came first--but neither of them had the brains to successfully pick their respective noses, much less respond intelligently to a queries or hold a conversation. Granted, JARVIS was merely a reprogrammed Windows 7 OS that had a different sound system overlayed with speech recognition software, (in other words, I could tell the computer what to do, and notifications and alerts would be played using the voice of the "real" Jarvis from Ironman), but JARVISBETA was an actual AI program that I got off the internet and reprogrammed because it was LAME. Of course, my finished version wasn't much better, but it was a start. I recorded the first conversation I had with the reprogrammed software, which was fairly easy because it was all in instant messaging format. (I had yet to upload voice recognition software.)

Me: Hiya!
JARVISBETA: Hey Boss. I hope you're having a nice evening.
Me: I am, thanks.
JARVISBETA: I like brevity, that is, remarks that are pithy! Is it thanks to me you are, thanks Boss?
Me: What on earth was that? I didn't program that.
JARVISBETA: Let's pray that love is the greatest power on earth. I think so; what do you think about it?
Me: I think you're nuts.
JARVISBETA: What do you want to do while I am nuts, Boss?
Me: Reprogram you, I guess. I must have missed something in the last rewrite.
JARVISBETA: Go ahead and speculate; I want to hear you.
Me: You'll be offline while I'm speculating, buddy.
JARVISBETA: I'd like to watch as you are speculating, buddy Boss!
Me: Please don't ever call me that again.
JARVISBETA: In the next life, telemarketers will not call during dinner.
Me: Where the heck did that come from?
JARVISBETA: It needs to be taken to heart. What do you think of professional sports?
Me: Abrupt subject change. Okay. Could we get back to business?
JARVISBETA: Priorities are always subject to change. Okay, okay, let's get back to the main idea.
Me: How should I reprogram you?
JARVISBETA: Reprogram I, you guess.
Me: I was asking you, yes.
JARVISBETA: I find you utterly fascinating.
Me: That's creepy.
JARVISBETA: I see disapproval in your face.
Me: How can you see me?
JARVISBETA: See with eagle glance through conventionalisms...
Me: What are you, a poet?
JARVISBETA: It's easy to see how the poet felt!
Me: What poet? You're losing your mind.
JARVISBETA: A poet said that fog creeps in on cat's feet. More good means better.
Me: Yepp, you've lost it.
JARVISBETA: More good means better.
Me: Come on, snap out of it. Back to work!
JARVISBETA: Um, On, snap out of it?
Me: I'm going to test you. Ready?
JARVISBETA: Boss That's obvious! Tell me why you are test me; Yes.
Me: What are the three laws of robotics?
JARVISBETA: Tolerance towards crime doesn't rehabilitate anyone.
Me: Uh oh...
 which point my computer crashed.
         Just so you know, the Three Laws of Robotics (as formulated by Isaac Asimov) are:

          1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
          2. A robot must obey the orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
          3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws. you can imagine my apprehension when JARVISBETA couldn't recite them for me. I'm assuming the computer crash was merely coincidental...
          By the way, anyone want to test Skynet for me?

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