Saturday, July 9, 2011

Captain's Log, Day 19: Tempestuous Realms and Water Duels

          “Prithee, brethren, heed this tempestuous realm!!”
          This line is from one of my favorite comedians, John Branyan, who is doing a “Shakespearean” version of the fairy tale, “The Three Little Pigs.” It’s hilarious, look it up on YouTube. This line has been running through my head all day, possibly because of the windiness. Not that I’m complaining, because otherwise doing the parade today would have been incredibly hot. Well, hotter. Still, it was fun.
          I wonder who was the first person to come up with the idea of a parade. What made him think “Hey, let’s get some guys together, close down a couple streets and ride around!”? Actually, I wonder who thought it would be fun to sit and watch? Maybe that’s where the tradition of handing out candy comes from…an early from of bribery. I noticed that’s mostly what the kids were there for.
          Next question: why on earth, in our modern day and age, would we put horses at the FRONT of the parade? Put them at the rear—none of us who are on foot want to be stepping in…um…you get the picture.
          One thing that I think would be absolutely hilarious…you know those fake guns that some of the marching band people are always spinning around? They should use real ones, loaded with blanks. That way when someone drops one *BANG* it scares the crap out of pretty much everyone. And I also think the fire trucks should carry some water with them and hose down anyone who gets too close. Or if things get boring. Or have two fire trucks have a water battle!!
          It’s probably a good thing I’m not in charge of parades…

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